Do you ever have nagging questions of a metaphysical nature that you would like practical answers to? Would you like to know how to remove negative grime from your emotional body? Would you like to know how to fluff up latent talents? Whatever your question, Miss Candice can offer the vibrational remedy, when applied with elbow grease, to get any job done! Please email your questions to Candice at firstname.lastname@example.org with a subject line of "Just Ask Miss Candice." She will select and answer one question each month.
Joanne of Oak Grove, OR inquires:
Dear Miss Candice,
How can I open myself up to trust? I have some pretty deep-seated trust issues brought on by betrayal throughout my childhood and adult years. I want to open myself to the universe and trust my loved ones not to hurt me financially or otherwise. The biggy is my boyfriend. I want to keep him. Every time I get a boyfriend I play this game called "What can I find wrong with him?"
It came out the other day that it is me, and I am lacking trust in him. I also tend to have trouble loaning friends items, because I have learned that it is a good way to loose things. I have been working on this for a while, but I am wondering what you suggest. I am also doing 12-step work around this as well. Thank you.
The first step towards learning to trust is making sure you are in the company of trustworthy people and accurately deeming who deserves your trust. True trust leads to openness, which leads to vulnerability, which leads to healing and intimacy. When your trust is betrayed repeatedly, it becomes difficult to place trust in anyone, as you have become conditioned to feel that it is unsafe to do so.
Therefore, your blend calls for petitgrain and agrimony to help you clearly discern potential problem areas (where you would need to pull back and make firm boundaries) from areas where it is wonderfully healthy to let someone in with a trusting, open heart and soul.
The recipe I whipped up for you is a desert sauce called, Caramel Carnation Sensation, for sweetness, trust, love, openness, healing your inner-child, and knowing when it is safe to do so!
This recipe starts with a roux made from agrimony, baby blue eyes, mariposa lily, and love-lies-bleeding flower essences, thickened with vetiver essential oil and sweetened to perfection with carnation and rose essential oils. And for just a little sass, adjust the spice level with ylang ylang and round out the body with just a dash of petitgrain for balance - a perfect blend every time! Before we get into the recipe, let me explain the benefits of each ingredient. (Please note the sensitivities listed below.)
Agrimony flower essence opens up emotional honesty, so projection onto others does not occur. The flip side being that we also do not take undo responsibility for another's actions. Agrimony helps us acknowledge and work with emotional pain, allowing us to stay in uncomfortable emotions long enough to genuinely work through them, therefore obtaining true inner peace. With respect to your working with a 12-step program, this plant also excels at helping one work through the urge to anaesthetize feelings as a way to avoid emotional pain.
Baby Blue Eyes flower essence This plant helps to return one to a state of child-like innocence and trust, feeling at home in the world, supported and loved, and at ease with oneself. It helps one to overcome defensiveness, insecurity, mistrust of others, feeling separated from the divine, and to heal from the lack of support from the father in childhood.
Mariposa Lily flower essence I find this plant to be the female counterpart to baby blue eyes. She opens one up to a warm, feminine and nurturing mother energy, and deep healing of the inner child, especially from the root of being alienated from mother because of childhood abandonment (at any level) or abuse. She teaches how to love and nurture another in a healthy way.
Love-Lies-Bleeding flower essence This little sweetie helps us to transcend our own pain, and take it from a personal, isolating place where we are "trapped" in emotion, to understanding the gifts of any situation by seeing the transpersonal meaning in such anguish and temper it into wisdom.
Vetiver essential oil is obtained from the root of the plant and holds the grounding and strengthening energy of the earth. This oil imparts the gift of being protected, wisdom in action, mind-body connection, spiritual growth, strength, and self-esteem. It also releases one from fear, agitation, hurt, scattered thinking, emotional blockages and disconnection.
Carnation essential oil is a gift for a soul who is just beginning to unfold into wholeness. She coaxes you out of being secretive so you can share your core self. She is very liberating and will open you to profound self-worth, with the ability to communicate well. She will provide you with an independent but tender and nurturing spirit, and will enable you to be encompassed by another and to return the energy. She gives the gift of openness, enabling you to release what is no longer true while being held in compassion. She helps a soul to heal from neglect, detachment, being overly criticized, self-isolation, self-criticism and being emotionally dominated.
Rose Otto essential oil is such a gift in that she is loving, harmonizing, comforting, happy, caring, euphoric, gentle, and peaceful. She also opens one to feelings of contentment, the ability to be devoted to another, revival of spirit, inner-freedom, acceptance of self and other's faults, completeness in one's self, patience in process, love (giving and receiving), sensuality and purity, and regeneration of healthy emotions.
Ylang Ylang essential oil is unifying and helps one to be awakened, warm, soothed, and self-assured. She takes one out of emotional guilt, frustration and being stubborn.
Petitgrain essential oil is for discernment. While discernment has many definitions, in this context it refers to the trait of judging wisely and objectively.
Caramel Carnation Sensation
6 drops Agrimony flower essence
6 drops Baby Blue Eyes flower essence
6 drops Mariposa Lilly flower essence
6 drops Love-Lies-Bleeding flower essence
10 drops Vetiver essential oil
25 drops Carnation essential oil
25 drops Rose Otto essential oil
15 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
2 drops Petitgrain essential oil
1. Take a clean 1/2 oz (preferably dark glass) bottle, remove cap.
2. Add 2/3 canola base oil and 1/3 avocado base oil to the bottle. Canola is about the fire of transmuting energy, while avocado holds one in tender nurturing so the flame is not too hot.
3. Add the flower essences.
4. Add the essential oils.
5. Cap the bottle and roll back and forth 15 times in your hands while calling on each plant by name - agrimony, baby blue eyes, mariposa lily, love-lies-bleeding, vetiver, carnation, rose, ylang ylang, petitgrain, canola and avocado - to come to support and teach you the gift they each hold. Thank them one by one for their help.
Apply to pulse points: wrist (for self smelling, to remind you of the work being done at a vibrational level), back of knees, behind ears, heart, and back of neck. Use daily, morning and night, until you notice a positive change. Of course, the healing curve varies from person to person.
In some very rare cases ylang ylang, petitgrain, rose and vetiver can cause skin sensitivities if used undiluted or in high dosages. The blend above falls within Recommended Daily Dosages, but if in question please apply a skin patch test before use. Use no more than 3 times per day.
Blessings to you on this journey into sweetness. Enjoy!
P.S. Did you know that the amount of raw plant material required to produce a small amount of essential oil varies widely from plant to plant? This is reflected in the cost of the essential oil. For example, lemon essential oil is relatively inexpensive since it has a high yield rate. However, it takes about 2,000 pounds of carnation petals to produce less than 1 pound of carnation essential oil, which is why it is about 40 times more expensive than lemon essential oil.